"You shall not covet your neighbor's house, your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor."
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Exodus 20:17
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"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."
Sounds familiar?
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My mother recently told me that when she was a teenager, she coveted a particular shirt that all the popular girls were wearing. She wanted one so badly that it was all she could think about. When she finally got her hands on the one, she proudly wore it to school - only to have the classmate who sat behind her get sick.
What she thought she absolutely had to have, ended up in the garbage.
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What exactly is coveting?
Simply put, it is seeing something that belongs to someone else and feeling discontented and resentful that its not yours.
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God knew that we would have a hard time being content with what we have. So for the last commandments, He chose:
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"You shall not covet your neighbor's house, your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or his maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor."
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This commandment stands out from the others in a unique way. While the other commandments are more behavior oriented (don't commit adultery, steal, lie, etc.), this commandment focuses on our motives - on why we do what we do. It's a commandment directed toward how we think - not how we act. And how we think shows us the condition of our hearts.
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When you covet you hurt yourself.
Becoming envious of another's life can make your seem dreary by comparison. You begin to live your life in what I call the 'if only's'. If only we had a spacious house like theirs. If only my spouse was always that nice to me. If only our deserving child had won that award instead. Before you know it, your whole focus is on that you don't have, and you're unhappy with the life you do have.
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Coveting can also hurt others.
Allowed to spin out of control, it can lead to getting what you covet through immoral or illegal ways. Coveting another's spouse can lead to adultery and the breakup of a family. Coveting a stereo in an empty car can lead to stealing. Coveting a friend's possessions can lead to the end of a friendship. But when we learn to be content with what we have, we stop covetous thoughts before they turn into harmful actions.
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There was a time when I struggled with being content with our house. The problem was, it is small. Eight hundred-square-feet small. When it looked like we'd be living here for a while, I knew I had a choice to make. I could covet the newer, spacious house some of our friends lived in, or I could choose contentment and make this house a home.
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What changed my view of our house was my husband's mission trip to Indonesia after the 2004 'Tsunami'. He brought back dozens of pictures of people who had lost their homes. Some pictures showed families standing outside on tile floors - the only thing left of their houses that hadn't been swept away. Others had placed flags on bare ground where they knew their homes had been, reclaiming only their land. Looking at the pictures, I felt guilty. Our cozy, cheerful little home looked pretty good by comparison.
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So God helped me make the better choice - contentment. I didn't want to someday look back on our time here and find that I'd wasted years that could have built wonderful family memories.
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In the last commandments, God is asking us to control our minds - that secret place where only we ourselves know our thoughts. You can covet something that belongs to your neighor, and no one has to know. Yet coveting is not merely a mind problem - it's a heart problem. Your heart has an emptiness that needs to be filled, so you try to fill it with things that you think will make you happy.
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The remedy is to fill your heart with the right things - a friendship with God and His good people and striving to do all the good you can. Matthew says in the Bible:
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"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven - for where your treasure is, there your heart will also be."
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With God in your life, you'll find it easier to be content with what you have. I find that the more I trust God, the more content I am. Most of the things we covet are things we don't really need. They're things we want. Sometimes we confuse wants with needs. But God knows the difference, and we need to trust Him to take care of us. He doesn't promise to take care of our wants. But He does give a reassuring promise to take care of our needs.
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A content life benefits everyone.
First, it benefits you. It allows you to be giving, not gasping. Covetous people don't know the joy of giving. Content people do.
Second, contentment benefits others. For once you are content you will not covet other's things and in return will start appreciating and be happy for what others have. There is another rule in the Bible:
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"Love your neighbor as yourself"
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Love does no harm to its neighbor. Neighbor here does not mean the person living next door but instead it's all that touch your life, be it daily, weekly, monthly or annually.
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God gave the above commantment, but the choice is ours. We can choose to covet or be content. Let's choose contentment and not waste a single moment coveting.
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Nancy Canwell
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